Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job
Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity
Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina
Jumps. JUMPS.
Miles frantically googling “How high can normal people jump??? How high can ballerinas jump?????? I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to jump straight up to the ceiling and also I keep getting stuck up there please help”
Once Mile’s spider sense pinged lightly about a balcony set and he told the crew master he had a bad feeling about it. The balcony collapsed later. No one was hurt, but now Miles has to go over sets and pronounce them clear of ‘bad feelings’
He’s not even good enough to be in shows yet, but nothing goes out without his seal of approval
honestly I have known so many stage managers and props department people who are Exactly This Superstitious. (And hell, in this case they’re not even wrong he literally has magic danger powers)
I’ve also known a few dancers, and without exception the reaction to finding out this boy can effortlessly hold them in a single arm lift or YEET them dozens of feet in the air (And catch them after!) would be PURE GLEE.
“Okay, Glynda, look, we all know he’s Spiderman. Kid’s terrible at hiding it. But imagine this. None of us tell him we know and none of us tell him how high ballerinas can really throw their partners. And each class we just keep on pretending like we’re impressed with how fast he’s improving but, y'know, he’s still got further to go.”
“Uhuh, yeah, I see that look in your eyes Glynda. You know exactly where I’m going with this. How high do you think Spiderman can throw you?”
“Okay, Glynda, stop giggling, the giggling is creepy. Dessie, please make her stop giggling.”
This is wonderful
One day, in the middle of ballet class, there was a robbery going on a block away, so of course Miles’ gotta rush over there to help out. He grabs his mask, but doesn’t have time to put on his whole suit because he said he was going to the bathroom and it’s be weird if he was gone for so long.
Cue Spider-Man kicking ass in pink ballet shoes and leggings.
This actually increased his popularity severely, and lots of people suddenly gained the interest in ballet; boys too, because if someone as cool as Spider-Man does it, everyone can do it.
When he’s back the instructors don’t comment on the rip in his shirt, the dirt on his shoes, or the smear of paint on his leggings. They make sure to treat the class afterwards. After all, it’s not every day that Spider-Man stops a bunch of bankrobbers and manages to do a high pirouette without crashing through the ceiling this time!
This keeps getting better!
Someone: *Attempts to comment on how weird it is that Miles can throw Glenda high enough she can touch the roof with her palm*
The Stage Manager:
Ballet companies starting rumours that Spiderman doesn’t actually has super powers, he’s just classically trained
You too could scale buildings if you would just practice regularly and focus on your core
Someone: Why does Remoraid, a fish, evolve into Octillery, and octopus?
Pokemon nerd: In addition to both being based on projectile weapons (a gun and a cannon, respectively), Remoraid and Octillery are both based on aquatic animals with suction cups, thematically tying them together
Someone: Why does the skinny, snakelike Dragonair turn into Dragonite, a larger dragon with limbs?
Pokemon nerd: It’s based off a Korean legend about a serpentine creature that can become a true dragon over time.
Someone: Why does Exeggcute, six eggs, evolve into Exeggcutor, a palm tree with three coconuts?
Pokemon nerd:
exeggcute turns into exeggutor because it aspired to be the best pokemon ever and it succeeded
I can’t find the original post, sadly, but I did find the images! Exeggcute aren’t eggs.. They’re seeds!
EGG TREE
wat
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IS THAT WHY ALOLAN EXEGGUTOR IS A DRAGON TYPE
Anonymous asked:
hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)
dear-ao3 answered:
there is delaware (state) and delaware (river)
both are equally strange
the state is a tiny little cryptid thing
the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.
the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.
THATS TUPPERWARE
i thought delaware was a place in ohio? why are there so many things named delaware?
delaware is too powerful
what the fuck
Wait what? I thought Delaware was a store with building supplies. Like paint, wood, nails and stuff?
THATS HOME DEPOT ???
I know home depot, but dude I don't know anything about America mad have never been there. Are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to Delaware!?!
.....ace hardware....?
this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post
but at what cost
This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.
he WHAT? i thought he was from. w. wait. ???
delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful
From the UK- and what do you mean Delaware isn't a type of ceramic?
it is now
@hellsite-hall-of-fame is it too early?
Isn’t delaware what they make computers on???
software ??
I think they meant Dell Ware, a specific computer type. We had a Dell computer once.
I thought Delaware was that famous singer they spoofed in Zootopia.
gazelle??
oh i thought delaware was that one british singer lady, you know, the one from chasing pavements
that's fucking adele
isn’t delaware that place you go when you die
youre thinking of superhell and all of you are going there
how the fuck did any of you come to the conclusions you all made
we live in america?
I thought Delaware was that food delivery service that keeps interrupting youtube videos with their ads when I'm trying to have a good time
..... are you talking about Doordash???
Isn't Delawere the name of that one girl in the song that goes "Hey there, Delawere"? She's from NYC or something.
THATS HEY THERE DELILAH
Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfic would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)
stop i do not want to think about this
Isn’t Delaware that SPN ship that exploded the internet
Everyone on this post:
I love that the “no, that’s [x]” meme is making a comeback here and only here and nobody has any idea what’s going on
Keep up the good work, we can make poor OP have a melt down yet.
Isn't delaware that one brand of pizza that's like "it's not delivery, it's delaware."
isn't delaware the god of the sea
Isn't Delaware the name of that guy who painted the Mona Lisa?
delaware is that one evil cyborg guy that has a son named Luke and a red laser sword
Thats Darth Vader. Im pretty sure Delaware is that other red-laser sword guy. You know. The one that stabbed Qui-Gon.
what have i created
I usually only reblog older posts, but this definitely deserves to be in every tumblr hall of fame
this post has only existed for 8 days.
happy one month birthday
This is just the “no odd number have the letter e”post
it’s ALL odd numbers have “e” silly!
(odd numbers end in the digits 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 (one, three, five, seven, nine) and the only ones for which the word version doesn’t end in those words are/end in eleven, thirteen, fifteen, seventeen, nineteen. I will NOT elaborate or defend this lest this post become another. ur free to do this yourselves if you want tho)
i mean no even numbers end with 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9
oh no please dont make another number discourse im still reeling from the last one
What about infinity, if it's infinite the technically at one point as it goes on forever it does end in in either 1,3,5,7, or 9 but because it's infinite it's neither even nor odd. Yes? No? Idk I'm drunk
this was posted exactly one month ago to the minute. 87k notes.
@dear-ao3 do you need a hug
yes
What a chaotic energy and turn of events.
Almost woke my sister up when reading this, laughed way too hard
here, for all you fuckers asking, this is the damn delaware post
I thought Delaware was just a different version of Vermont
spookyy-foxx
